shane glass

Colleen and I were married June 21, 2008. As part of  our honeymoon, we took a cruise through the Caribbean (Nassau, Bahamas then Cocoa Cay, an island owned by Royal Caribbean) upon Royal Caribbean’s Sovereign of the Seas. We were hooked. After that cruise, we booked another through Carnival. On Sunday we returned from that 7-day Western Caribbean cruise. We had ports of call in the Grand Cayman Islands; Belize City, Belize; and Roatan Island, Honduras. We were supposed to make a port call in Cozumel, Mexico, but this blasted H1N1 flu ruined that. (We spent an extra day at sea instead.) Overall, our experience was a pleasant one. We decided we were overly spoiled with Royal Caribbean, and won’t be using Carnival on our own choices again. There were a few main disappointments:

• The crew: While Carnival’s crew did an excellent job, their service falls short of what we experienced upon Royal. The biggest difference was at dinner time—we waited 40 minutes one evening for two Cokes! Forty minutes! That is ridiculous. (I’ll complain about the soda package “deal” later.) Upon Royal, we never had to wait for what we wanted. Lou, our assistant waiter from China, was always nearby for whatever we needed, whether it be a refill on our drinks or bread. Our assistant waitress upon Carnival, a girl from Croatia who’s name I do not remember, offered us bread maybe two or three times through our whole 1 1/2-hour nightly dinner experience. (And the bread rolls were hard. Our Supper Club experience at the Golden Fleece proved the bread could be fresh.) The only member of the crew who’s name I remember in a positive light is Louie, our main waiter. You can tell he tried, plus he gave me a hint on how to beat Carnival’s ridiculous “shore excursion” that cost $40 per person to drive you to a public beach; Colleen and I got a private taxi and paid $40 for the both of us. Our stateroom attendant, Antonio, introduced himself to us on embarkation day, and that pretty much marked the end of our relationship with him. We acknowledged one another in the halls and exchanged cheap conversation, but that was it. On Royal, our stateroom attendant was Mulan, who we conversed with daily and got pictures with! He was a great guy and went far to make sure we were pleased and pampered. On a scale of one to five, Carnival’s crew gets a three, or average grade, and that’s because of the efforts of individuals—overall, the experience paled in comparison to Royal.
• The Soda Package “Deal”: Do you know how much a soda from a can costs on Carnival? $1.75, if I remember correctly. Do you know how much a soda package, which provides unlimited sodas for a single passenger, costs? Try $38.50. Do you know how much two packages cost? $93.94. That’s $38.50*2=77, plus an automatic 15% gratuity of $11.55, and then $5.39 worth of “taxes.” Each of us, excluding the cost of taxes and gratuity, would have to drink 22 sodas each. That’s a lot of soda. Now, I understand taxes and all, but, I don’t understand why ANY ONE deserves 15% gratuity for what we got, and here’s what we got:
  • Carnival stocks their bars with six-packs of sodas. (Did I mention NO Dr. Pepper? Yeah, I was rightfully pissed, too. Isn’t access to Dr. Pepper a Constitutional right?)
  • Those six-packs are not refrigerated. Let me emphasize that with wonderful <’em’> tags—Those six-packs are not refrigerated. They sit out on top of the bars. Hot.
  • When a passenger requests a soda, one of those hot cans is opened and poured into a cup of ice. If that entire can is not used, guess where it goes? Right back with its friends, on that hot, alcohol-ridden bar, waiting for the next passenger who latched onto this incredible soda package “deal.”
  • The next passenger comes along and asks for a Coke. Does he get a freshly opened can? Not if there’s some left from the last fool! Pour that hot, sitting-out-and-open-for-ten-minutes soda into that cup!
  • I could go on about how some random bar guy does not deserve 15% gratuity for pouring me hot, flat soda into a cup of ice that melts upon impact of said hot, flat soda, but I think what has been stated will suffice.
  • All of these frustrations are compounded when said over-tipped bartender pours you Diet Coke instead of regular Coke, compounding to the ^n degree your frustration in being forced to pay $38.50 (plus 15% gratuity plus taxes) for Coke, making you feel like an ex-Guantanamo Bay prisoner with no place to go because Dr. Pepper is not to be found on this wonderful vessel of the seas.

  The best soda was from Belize and Honduras, which blessed us with the absence of high-fructose corn syrup in our Cokes, and instead gave us wonderful sugar! Our taste buds were delighted and danced the thirst away.

• Colleen lost her credit card at the Altun Ha Mayan ruins. That sucked majorly, but luckily her credit card company quickly canceled the card when we called them upon returning to the ship. Within those two hours that passed, several charges were racked up. Luckily, we don’t have to pay any of them.

That sounds like a lot of complaining, but we did have a fabulous time other wise. We took many pictures aboard the Legend, in Belize City, Belize (plus the Altan Ha ruins), and on beautiful Roatan Island, Honduras. {All links will take you to public Facebook photo albums.}

For our next cruise (on Royal Caribbean or Princess), we’d like to try the Mediterranean and see lots of European countries. I would love to see Alaska as well. In time, we will. In the meantime, I leave you with a photo I took aboard the Legend as the sun set, looking back at the wake the massive, 2,000+ passenger ship left behind.

The Wake of the Carnival Legend